Parent 101

Well, I’ll let you fill in the blank. And don’t count yourself out if you don’t happen to be a parent.

Everyone has had a parent or someone who “parented” them. We’ve all had countless opportunities to observe parents.

Parenting is…

a) Difficult

b) An adventure

c) Exhausting

d) Stimulating

e) Challenging

f) Entertaining

g) Educational

h) Never Ending

i) A Sensory Overload

j) A Gift

k) All of the above.

I don’t have space to list all of the emotions involved in parenting. Just circle the letter “i.”

I am on both sides of the coin — a parent who also observes parents. I’ve made and still make my share of mistakes. I am still learning.

I do wonder about a few things that have become the norm when it comes to babies.

Baby monitors. I don’t know a parent who does not own one or two or five. I understand that baby monitors contribute to a child’s safety, but it seems that children’s lives are constantly being monitored by cameras.

How will this affect kids down the road? Who knows? “Big Brother” or, in a baby’s case, mother, father, and babysitter keep surveillance at all times.

Yikes.

When I go to our castle in the woods, I put Solo cups over the security cameras. Those live eyes give me the creeps.

Gary and I gave baby monitors a try. We did.

We picked up an audio monitor when our second child was born. We plugged it in and spent the night jumping up every time we heard a squeak or a peep. Newborns are noisy.

After one sleepless night, we retired the monitor to the closet.

Sound machines. I understand their value to people with insomnia or to those who grow up to be light sleepers. But using them for babies from day one teaches them to be dependent on artificial noise.

Here’s a novel idea: Enable babies to sleep to the tunes of all sounds. Leaf blowers, garbage trucks, crying siblings—you name it.

I didn’t grow up with a sound machine, nor did my children, and we all sleep through chirping crickets, train whistles, and nighttime storms.

Phones and iPads. I cringe when I see toddlers mesmerized by phones or iPads in restaurants while their parents engage only with each other.

I said this to a twenty-something young woman, and she replied, “Yes. But I get it if the parents never get time to be alone.”

“If they want to be alone, they should hire a sitter for the evening,” I said.

My fondest memories growing up include sitting with my family around my mother’s round maple table. We enjoyed our meals while we laughed and caught up on each other’s days.

When a family dines together, no matter the place, there should be no electronic interruptions. Family time is special. The older the children get, the more difficult it is to bring everyone together.

Advice books. I know there are some great ones out there, but how parents sort through millions to find a good one remains a mystery.

I blame parenting books for the temporary friction my daughter and I experienced. She had questions; I had answers. But her books — written by people she’d never met — had better remedies, some of them good, some just plain crazy.

I finally apologized for giving too much information.

“All I know is I raised three children, and you’re all still here,” I added.

That fact bridged the gap. I work hard to only offer advice when asked, and she does ask.